Income Tax
I had an appointment at the bank yesterday. A joyless experience at the best of times, no doubt, but this one was particularly bad.
I walked up to the helpdesk and said I had an appointment with Hailey. As instructed, I walked down to the offices at the end and walked into Hailey’s office, the first door on the left. I looked up, made eye contact, and had an awful realisation: this is going to awkward.
Some time ago, I was out with friends, celebrating someone’s birthday and ended up going back to a girl’s place. This isn’t something I do regularly, but I’d recently broken up with a girl and I didn’t care; sometimes you just need to get laid. And this girl seemed nice, anyway.
Some 6 months later, standing in an office at Lloyds TSB, I found myself looking right at her, mortified. She looked momentarily confused, and then welcomed me and asked me to take a seat. I approached with caution, wondering if she’d remember me or not. “What can I help you with today, sir?” she asked. I allowed myself a sigh of relief, and told her I was there to open a bank account. “And will you be staying long enough for me to finish, this time?” she asked.
Shit.
I hadn’t planned on doing what I did at the time, I just decided in the spur of the moment. We’d just finished and were catching our breath and I suddenly didn’t want to be there anymore. So I made an excuse and left, not even five minutes after having sex with her. I never went back, and I ignored all her calls and texts. And I never felt bad about it until now, standing in her office.
Unsurprisingly, she swore a lot and did not assist me in opening an account with her branch. So I called back this morning to arrange another appointment. “Ok then, if you’d like to pop in today at 1pm, someone will see you!” the nice lady on the phone told me.
And then she continued.
“Your appointment will be with Hailey.”
Maybe I’ll try a different bank.
